Andrea Kalaydjian, is a system analyst with more than 20 years experience in the IT field and a New Insight Certified life coach
Born in Argentina, where she studied and started her career, she has also worked in the UK, USA and South Africa where she currently lives....
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Failure – 5 tips to overcome failures
ByVisualize this, you or your spouse is in hospital giving birth to beautiful baby, all babies are beautiful. That child comes to this World with a purpose. He grows and soaks knowledge like a sponge. His first crawling attempts seem very frustrating. I remember watching my child during his first crawling attempts. He was so frustrated; he was going backwards no forwards. We used to place objects nearby so that he would reach for them, but he used to complain because he could not move forward. My poor baby could not crawl.
Today my child is 5 years old and he does not only walk but he runs. He proudly tells me he is the fastest in his class. What would have happened if that child had given up when he was a baby and had decided “he was not good enough to crawl”? In that case today he would be sitting on a chair without enjoying his freedom to run and walk or kick his ball whenever he feels like.
My son, like any other child came to this world with a purpose and dreams. Did you hear well? All children are born with dreams and a purpose. You were once a child and you are still a child. Therefore you have dreams and a purpose.
Moreover I want to tell you what I believe our purpose is in this world. I believe our purpose is to learn. Yes, this is something that I believe in, but I also need to remind myself every day. The learning process does not entail failures. Whatever we do, right or wrong, is a learning experience. Moreover, when we do things right straight away we do not learn much. What could we learn if we had a fairy tale type of life, if everything had a happy end? Probably nothing. That is why when we do the wrong things we do learn. When something hurts us, when we suffer is when we notice what happens to us, our feelings and that is when we really learn. Of course, this is a generalization; there are people that need to live the same experience several times before they learn. There are others that learn even if they do the right thing
What I wanted to highlight in this article is that failures as such do not exist. Yes, you have heard well. Failure is a mindset. It depends on our point of view, we can see the glass half empty or half full. Moreover if we apply the universal law of allowing, everything happens for a specific reason. Perhaps you had to get married first to then find your ideal partner, o perhaps you needed to go bankrupt five times before building an empire.
Imagine if Bill Gates had felt as a failure when Windows 3.1 was launched. It was a disaster, and you still get jokes about Windows. However I would not say that Microsoft is a failure.
In general people that get far and succeed start a Project believing that they will succeed. I do acknowledge that is not always easy to keep motivated when things do not turn out as expected.
I wanted to share with you 5 tips that will help you overcome that failure feeling:
1- Once you have calmed down alter a so called “Failure” event, evaluate the situation: What could you have done differently? Just be careful. This is not to beat yourself up; this is to learn from the event. If you have not done it this way you probably would not have learned.
2- Make a list of how this situation or event has served you. Make a list, as well, of how this event has served everyone else involved.
3- If someone is pointing fingers at you, remember that probably that person is accusing you of something he is guilty for. Remember, what others think of you it has nothing to do with you.
4- Remember that failure as such does not exist. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had. Learn from it. If you know you would not fail, wouldn’t you take greater risks?
5- Whatever you do, no matter how big the mistake you do, please do not feel ashamed. Acknowledge the mistake and keep your head up.
I would love to hear your experiences on this, and how you react when things do not work out as you expected. We can all learn from others experiences.
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